Thursday, February 2, 2017

A Change Of Tune

A post written 2016 late August to early September

Hi all! Sorry it took so long for me to get back online but I've essentially been spiraling downward into a pit of my own depression. Detoxing from all the old lingering high school stress hasn't been easy. Between my hoarding going way out of control, staying locked up in my room for almost weeks at a time, wallowing in the lethargy of depression, and weight gain that took me from a medium to a large, you could say I've had no shortage shit that I've had to deal with.
In all of the chaos I haven't been doing anything with the boundless creativity that before I had so depended as well as prided myself on. Now for those of you who don't really know what happens in the minds of creative people, let me tell you this, when hard core creatives stop creating, it's like they slowly cease to exist. Well, either that or their creative energy suddenly manifests, likely blowing in with the explosive ferocity of a gale force wind.
With September soon approaching and my Mom reporting that, 'being unemployed and out of school gets far more depressing with the rush back to school and work that comes in September'. I almost dread the days to come, you see I live in a cozy New Jersey suburb nestled right across the river from Philadelphia. I grew up a typical local, went to the nearest public schools, swam at the neighborhood swim club, yada yada. But when I finally got some sorely needed testing around 7th grade, with a full I.E.P. sparing none of the trimmings, and STILL the school pushed shoved and refused to accommodate my special learning related needs, we decided that a different school would be the way to go. So half way through 8th grade I started going to private school... on the other side of Philly. Now don't get me wrong, I was more free at the new school than I had ever been before in my life, and the fact that my parents were willing to drive me all around creation to see my friends and stuff shows what great people they are. But now it's been some 5 or so years since I've really spent any time in my hometown, and I'm stuck here. I don't really have friends around here anymore because... well, I mean you don't really talk for 5 years and then friends become more like acquaintances.
So now here I stand in No-Mans-Land New Jersey, no school, no job, no drivers license, as of yesterday my allowance got cut off so no money, no nearby friends, and up until recently no clean clothes, not that half of them even fit me right now.
You might read all that and wonder, "Wow! What in alls name have you been doing for the last 2 months?" Well the answer to that is, technically up at the top of this post but if you mean how I've been wasting my days away I can gladly supply an answer. Because of a purchase I made at Five Below on an impulse I've spent a good amount of time playing Webkinz, I've also discovered a newfound love of the Care Bears so have been watching and re-watching as many episodes as I can get my hands on. That's mainly what I've been doing this summer, as well as perfect my recipe for Mediterranean Style Nachos.
As of yesterday I'm turning my life around, will this blog be a part of that, who knows. But I do know one thing, it's getting better.

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